As i sat in my hotel room, in a state of confusion,anger,disbelief and sadness, i somehow knew that everything would now change and that if i wanted a normal, deserved and happy relationship with my son…….that i would have to fight for it. Fight for him. Fight for us. But it would come at a cost. And the long road to happiness would begin a few hours after i returned to my hotel room.
4:34 pm, July 15,2016. Contemplating what to do i paced about my room , even opening the outside door leaving it wide open in case the police came by to ‘talk to me’. Trying to keep my senses about me i weighed the pro’s and con’s of several courses of action. Pretty much all of them resulting in me going to jail. Many times over the years my ex and i got into physical arguments. Many. Those who know me KNOW i stand up for what’s right and what’s civil and fair. Every time she and i got to this level, the police were called. Do you know how many times she went to jail? 0 Do you know how many times i went? ALL . We had history. And she used that against me every single time. i knew this encounter would be no different. Without missing a step and almost right on cue my phone rang. Do i even need to look who it is? Nope. A local cellular number not in my contacts. I answer.
Of course it was the local police. They ask their questions, i reply, they ask me where i am. i tell them. The officer on the other end sounds surprised. Like my response was unexpected.He asks if i can come in to see him. I tell him sure “i’ll be right over” He asks “How long did i expect to be?” I reply “30 seconds” ..Again he sounds surprised. You see because of where my hotel was situated i figured what better way to show no guilt and give a sense of innocence than to stay right where i was. For my hotel was no more than 30 meters across the street from the local police detachment. +1 for the good guys. +1 for me and my son and the first+1 in a long list of plus one’s. That in the end will be tallied together to produce the sum of our happiness and my freedom from ties and bounds that restrict my life from being MY life.
I walk into the detachment, wait for the assigned officer to let me in and the process begins. He questions me but i hold firm because i did nothing wrong besides break her fence gate . Big deal. If i had acted any other way i’d be going up on a very different and more severe charge. Regardless of how justified i was, regardless of the fact that i was ‘set up’ to take the fall, regardless of the fact that i had made plans and had/have the messages to prove it. It didn’t matter. 1 charge of mischief, 1 charge of destruction of property. Now the timeless process of being processed. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of being in “holding’ in a community jail knows that minutes seem like hours. Hours like weeks and so on and so on. It takes FOREVER to wait for papers, then they let you out for prints, right back in, then you wait to speak or see a justice of the peace for bail or no bail, then you wait for papers again and then they let you go . If you make bail.
I walk out of jail 8hr26min later. Local time, 1:37am. I wanted to get the ball rolling so i ask for and received my matter to be tried in court the very next day. I flop on the bed , have the day’s last cigarette and close my eyes.
I wake seemingly instantly ready to go and eager to get my matter dealt with. I’d never been excited to go to court ever. Who would be. But i knew this is the only way i could be heard and something done about this unfair and unjust situation. I headed to the courthouse. 5 hrs after i was released from jail.
My name was read. I stood up ,walk up to the podium and the charges were read. In my haste i forgot to take into consideration that maybe i should have talked to duty council first. But why? I knew what i wanted to do and knew how to get it. I’ve represented myself in court many times. If you know your rights and what’s possible you have that option. While standing at the podium i was asked if i could pay for the fence. So i did and handed duty council $40 for her fence.+1 Then the conditions were read. Suspended sentence. +1 report to a probation officer as instructed. Big deal. Now here comes the reason why i SHOULD have talked to duty council first. The last 2 conditions, To have NO contact with my ex. including social media or any other platform. And condition number 2. To not step foot within the city limits of the city i was currently in. -2 The judge unknowingly handed me a heart ripping suspended sentence by cutting off the only means of communication with my son and cutting off the physical path that leads to my son. That meant that it would be another 366 days before i even had a chance to see him again.
+2 for her. But it would and will be the last time she ever wins at my expense or my son’s expense. Because something unexpected is about to happen to me that nobody could have ever saw coming.
Times i saw my son since march 2015:1
Consecutive days since i saw him:346
Days left till i can legally see him:46
Total days lost since March 2015: 689 and 2 christmas’ back to back. Not even a phone call.
July 26,2016. W.T.F is happening to me………