The Invisible Fight…pt.7

October 18,2016 started just like any other day. Eager to see what my online business had produced i quickly login and check all my emails. You see when you first get into this industry you are told to get 4 different email accounts. Or at least i was told that. And actually there’s a reason for that. As you begin your journey in I.M. there will be opportunity everywhere coming at you from all sides. Everything from the latest shiny object to the newest bitcoin double up op. At the height of my scattered business i received over 500 emails a day. At first i was overcome with joy opening so many emails. Was like Christmas morning every morning. But then again i would waste 4-5 hours just opening email everyday instead of being productive.  So that quickly wore off ,but on that morning one stood out from the crowd. It read “You made a sale!” and there was more than 1.

As i clicked and read just how much i had made my heart raced! But this time it was a good race. A very welcomed heart racing beat. I had made $10,200.00 over-night. YAHOO!!! F@$##*&* YES!!!! Who would have thought it was possible. How a guy who just a few months before only used a computer to play games and look at adult material was now in an industry where it was possible to make more in 1 night than most people make in a month,sometimes even a cpl months. I can start to see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. But a-lot more work would need to be done and a little more blood spilled to be where i wanted to be. Where i needed to be. To set things right. To ensure i get to see my son.

Able to catch up on my bills i come to realize that all my years of reckless spending and non consequential lifestyle has come at a cost. My credit rating was horrible. Like embarrassing horrible. As well my many stints with the law has disabled my ability to cross the border into the U.S.A. Where a majority of the biggest and best events are held and where i won’t get to go for a few years yet. Would these 2 factors be the reasons that would halt my new found addiction and budding business venture ? I don’t think so! I’ll claw and fight and find a way to succeed. I’ll die here if i have to. And for the first time in a long time ,i’m being productive and building my online business and another perk comes with it seemingly for free. My mind now has been busy with ideas and problem solving, copy-writing, finances, computer jargon and funding woes. But that’s ok. Why? Because without me even noticing, it has been nearly 50 days since i used. WHAT!!!

Without me even noticing or craving, my addiction that has plagued my life and cost me many dear friends and quite a bit of pride and money for the better part of 20 years, has subsided and as some might say ‘gone away’. I know 50 days isn’t much but if you knew me and saw where i was and how i was living, 50 days is a very long time. Considering i had some every single day and up till the day i became involved in this industry. But would it stay away for good? Time will tell. Until then i’ll just keep my nose to grind and push forward. Baby steps.

Nov.19,2016. My friend, who i built the bond with goes into labour. 10 hours after we did an all day move in Edmonton stuffing 3 households worth of lamps,beds,nick-knacks and toiletries into my white trailer. In one day my daughter,my friend and myself had moved my daughter from the east side into the downtown core. Then driven my severely over-weight trailer down highway 2 in a snow storm. Dropped the trailer at a friend farm just outside of town and checked into a gasoline alley motel.

“Wake up!”, “Robin! Wake the F*$##@ UP!”. It was time to go to the hospital. My Friend was in Labor! Less than 6 hours after we checked in. She was pretty calm if i recall correctly. I was still half asleep. So we get her in admitting and i sit with her for a bit and then remember thinking. If that was me, i’d be scared and sad that nobody was with me. For her parents had disowned her because she wanted to make her own decisions for herself. Her parents are not nice or realistic people. And they kicked her out of their house and lives when she was 8 and a half months pregnant. Who does that? Regardless i unknowingly assumed care for her because i was her only means to exist here. I was all she knew. I was her family now.

Baby born and now the daunting task of finances and where are we going to live comes into play. But after a few days in N.I.C.U and a not yet plan taking shape, we would receive news that would change us both and push the very limits of heart ache and pain and the human condition. Emotions would be compromised and there were more losses ahead. So much loss.

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